History > His Story > My Story > Shared Story> OH FATHER, IS IT YOU OR ME

( Found a little notebook I had tucked away, filled with some of my poems, excerpts of poems, and in the back of this book, some stories typed out. I vaguely remember doing this, as I was recovering from a nervous breakdown.)

Dated June, 1982
     I started to write a collection of some of these poems, and had given sevral copies  to friends or ones I thought they might help, but I think now, what I really ought to do, is not only write the poems, but also the story behind them, as best as I can remember.  Maybe. this way, others would understand them better.  The poem," Oh Father, Is It You Or Me,"  helped me to reach this decision.
     I  had returned from the hospital, and found my memory was getting so bad, I wasn't able to visit or get around very well, but I did manage to put quite a few of these poems and the stories behind them, on tape.  It worried my family dreadfully, and for several years after, it would make them nervous if they saw me read or listen to these poems.  I can't explain any of it, I just knew it was important to save them.
     Using both this tape, and the memories of my family and friends, I have been able to get this collection, plus others written since then, together.  I haven't changed any names of people or places, but in order to protect the privacy of the ones involved, I haven't mentioned many, either.
     I think the most important idea to keep in mind when reading any of this is, The Glory is God's.

( I didn't even understand a lot of the poems, back then, but now I do. It was one of those "learning experiences" we all go through. I was bedridden at that time, and was so shakey, that it took all I could do, just to work that little tape recorder.)

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Oh Father, is it You or me,
That puts these words this way,
Or is it us together,
And just another way to pray.

Please let the folks who read this verse,
Understand the meaning there,
Not word for word, but all of it,
Let the message to them be clear.

Not to confuse, but just to help,
The pain, whatever it be,
To know that no one's ever alone,
Unless they want to be.

Not my will, but thy will.
Is the way that we should pray,
And ask for help to guide us on,
The path You've set our way.